5-03-1999:
This weekend was a wild one!! On the “Ziggy Scale of Ten”,
One being falling to sleep in your beer and Ten being the chance of
life imprisonment with no parole, I give it a 10+. Major pillaging
and partying was done by all. “Bowrider”, the paint and
fiberglass guru, did a kickass job painting my bootline and the C&C
star stripe
I
finished sanding the filler on the keel and giving it a coat of primer.
Just need to wash it down and paint the bottom now. It looks real
good for a couple of pirates. I can’t wait to wheel it out this
week. We spent a long 75 degree day taping, masking and painting and
were soon ready to have a little fun. When we wrapped it up we got
C.K's 14 ft John boat off his war wagon and mounted my 5 horse dingy
motor on it to go into town in the cover of the night and take it
by surprise.We spent a long 75 degree day taping, masking and painting
and were soon
ready to have a little fun. When we wrapped it up we got C.K's 14
ft John boat off his war wagon and mounted my 5 horse dingy motor
on it to go into town in the cover of the night and take it by surprise.
We
went upstream first to see if it would float still. It passed the
test and after a couple of brews we aimed her for town weaving through
the mine field of floating logs and debris, past the fattest beaver
I ever saw (no, the four legged kind), and well away from a large
skeleton washed up on shore.We hope it was a deer but opted not to
look any closer!
Once downtown
in St. Clair, MI. our suicidal, I mean thrill seeking gene kicked
in and we decided to take C.K’s boat, the “Death Trap
2000” out of the mouth of the Pine River into the St. Clair
river and see if it would survive the wake of a freighter going
by. The boat has at least a 6 inch freeboard and if we hit them
right we figured we might not breakup too bad. Even the battery
powered bow light he duct taped to the bow stayed on! The big river
was unusually smooth so we got
brave and venture a 1/4 mile out into the middle of the river and
shut off the motor and drifted with the current.The current runs
about 4 or 5 miles an hour and in no time the city light were far
behind use as we drifted between the freighter traffic along with
the Walleye fisherman.The current runs about 4 or 5 miles an hour
and in no time the city light were far behind use as we drifted
between the freighter traffic along with the Walleye fisherman.
After
watching the balancing act of C.K. trying to pee off the front of
a 30 inch wide boat right in front of a fishing boat he didn’t
see, without getting wet, we headed back up for town for a late diner
and see if we could find some trouble in St. Clair, the big hair capital
of Michigan.This is where things got pretty strange! The low water
puts the seawall docks at upper chest level when standing in the small
boat, making crawling on my stomach across the dock for everyone to
see while struggling to get my 6’4’’, 250 lbs butt
out of the boat an art form.
From there
we made it to the Voyager Lounge. A bowling alley bar on the water
that was still serving food at 10pm . We sat in the corner by the
windows, then all hell broke loose! A heavy set young lady in a
leg cast across the bar started blowing me kisses and making tongue
gestures at me. Fat psychotic women have always been attracted to
me but this one looked like trouble! She came over and announced
that she was going to “F**k” me in the bathroom, licked
the top of my bald head with her notebook pad size tongue and grabbed
a handful of “little Ziggy” through my jeans and tried
to drag me to the john by the balls! She was leaving bruises on
my arms where she was grabbing me, breaking skin with her nails
and teeth marks where she was biting me! My nipples may never be
the same. I was a victim of attempted rape! She was geeked up on
roofies and was on a mission. She was loudly riding my leg and the
bar stool into orgasm while I tried to eat my dinner! The whole
time being egged on by C.K.. She was set on going back to the boat
and romp me while he video taped it. at one point she had her girl
friend help her get her pants off over her cast in the john so she
could take off her panties and give them to me! White cotton ones
with “Dino” all over them from the Flintstones. They were
presented to me in front of the whole bar! Shortly followed by her
bra that she removed at the table and wrapped around my neck before
trying again to drag me to the bathroom. The 100+ people in the
bar got a wild show! She drank anything left on the table unguarded
and never stopped rambling loudly about where, how and when she
was going to do me. All along slinging that cow tongue everywhere.
When the lights came on at 1:30 and people started leaving I made
a move for the door with C.K. close behind but Dino caught us in
the parking lot. she started to get forceful but I was saved by
a cruiser on patrol. With me saying no and her girl friend ordering
her in the car she stopped a
passing 4x4 and told the driver she wanted to “F**k” someone
now. he opened the door and off they went. We actually have pictures
of this chic and will post them here later this week when C.K. develops
them.Laying on our bellies and sliding off the sea wall feet first
looking for the boat with our toes in the dark was no small chore
after a few beers but we made it. half way back I asked C.K. how
much I owed him on my half of the bar tab. He thought I paid it!
We had accidentally walked out on our $60+ bar tab in the mayhem.
oops. It took sleeping till noon, a Motrin 800, three cups of coffee,
the first glass of milk I ever saw the man drink in my life and
a French toast breakfast that he didn’t touch a bite of to
put C.K. back together again. But by 2pm we were able to start on
the boat stripes again before calling it a day and heading home.
As wild as this all sounds, and I toned it down so I could post
it here without offending too many people (read: my girlfriend).
This is all true. A Ziggy Caper Deluxe!
